The Liar
by Adri29
Summary: Elaine is demoted at Peterman and wants to know why.Jerry dates a girl who isn't so open.George and Frank learn to lawn bowl and Estelle and Frank vacation with Helen and Morty in Florida


Seinfeld Script 3-The Liar

(Setting-Monks)

George

You know what I hate about fast food places?

Jerry

That the food is all greasy and unhealthy?

George

No, I like that, what I don't like is that I am still hungry afterwards! I waste my money, I eat and I'm not satisfied, is it wrong for me to want to be satisfied?

Jerry

Of course not.

George

Exactly!

Jerry

Why are we talking about this?

George

Well it was silent so I decided to get that off my chest.

Jerry

Ok then .Here comes the queen of the castle.

Elaine

I can't believe this! Peterman demoted me!

George

Why would he do that?

Elaine

Because he found someone better.

Jerry

Who could be better then you?

Elaine

Carl Hamilton.

SCENE ENDS

(Setting-Frank and Estelles house)

Estelle

Kramer it is so nice of you to stop by and help us pack.Georgy wouldn't do that for us.

Kramer

Well I am no Georgy,I am Cosmo Kramer.

Frank

Cosmo!I need your help here!

Kramer

I am coming!

(Phone rings,Estelle answers it)

Estelle

Hello?

George

Hi Ma, I just want to let you to know that the Seinfelds are going to pick you up at the Florida Airport, so don't wait for a taxi.

Estelle

Oh, I know,Helen called me already ,it's so nice of them to invite us over for the week.

George

Ya, ya, well then I'll stop by to help you pack.

Estelle

Oh,no need, Kramers already here helping us. I will see you in a week Georgy.Love you,now say goodbye to your father.I'll get him. (puts down phone)

FRANK!Come say bye to Georgy on the phone!

Frank

I am coming!

Scene Ends

Setting-Carl Hamilton's office

Carl

Hey Elaine, you got the report for me?

Elaine

Yes (in gritted teeth)

Carl

You had such a great office in here, I'm sure you miss it

Elaine(Thinking)

Way to rub it in my face Jerk-off!

Elaine(talking)

Ya I do, but you deserve it too,afterall you've had a years worth of experience right?

Carl

Yes, well back to work for you Elaine!

Elaine

Yes sir(rolling eyes)

Setting-monks

Elaine

How can he hire this guy and replace me with him!

Jerry

No clue

Elaine

I'm getting to the bottom of this

Jerry

I am sure you will

Elaine

So how's it going, your comedy tour?

Jerry

I got fired from it!Those damn idiots took Kenny Bania instead! He was using MY ovaltine act..the one I told him to use, because his stunk!

Elaine

Bania?(laughing)they took him instead of you?

Jerry

I don't find it very funny.

Elaine

And it was your act too(laughing)

Jerry

I don't appreciate your mocking me.

Elaine

It's funny---

(George walks in)

Elaine

The comedy tour changed there mind,they fired jerry and took Bania instead

George

Your kidding(laughing)

Jerry

That's it,I have heard enough of you two.Have a nice lunch,I am going to catch up with Kramer.

George

You might want to rethink that,he's in Florida

Jerry

What?

George

He was helping my parents pack,and he was going to bring them to the airport,and just 20 minutes ago he called from your parents house and said he decided to go along with my parents.

Jerry

And he's staying with my parents?

George

Yup

Jerry

Well,I guess I'll go see Lois then.

Elaine

Lois?

George

Jerry's new girlfriend

Elaine

And let me guess, your Clark?

Jerry

Yes Elaine, and I can fly.

Scene ends

Setting-Florida

Kramer  
Thankyou Mr.and Mrs.Seinfeld for letting me stay last minute.

Morty

No problem Kramer.

So Frank,you up for some lawn bowling?

Frank

Lawn Bowling?

Morty

Don't tell me you don't know how to Lawn Bowl?

Scene Ends

Setting-Jerry's Apartment

Jerry

I rented Superman for us to watch tonight.

Lois

Superman?I've never seen the movies.

Jerry

You haven't?

Lois

But I have read the comics.

Jerry

Really,I didn't know woman read superhero comics.

Lois

I do.

Jerry

Ok I'll put on the movie.

Lois

You know,I once dated a guy named Clark, who hated a guy named Alexander.

Jerry

(laughing)Your kidding!

Lois

Nope,Ha,Lois,Clark and Lex. Oh ya and his exgirlfriends name was Lana.And he was adopted.

Jerry

Ok you're making this up.

Lois

Nope  
(laughing)

Scene Ends

Setting-Peterman's office

Peterman

Elaine!Come in here for a second.

Elaine

What is it?

Peterman

It's Carl,he's been complaining about your attitude.

Elaine

My attitude?

Peterman

Yes,I think you should apologize to him.

Elaine

Apologize!I never did anything to him,I was nice to him!I should have an attitude toward him though!He stole my job and he has little experience!How could you demote me for that unexperienced jerk?

Peterman

So this is what its about,your demotion. Well,Elaine,I had to hire him, or I would be fired.

Elaine

What? But there is no one higher then you that can fire you.

Peterman

Oh yes there is,you see Elaine,the government can fire me,and they threatened to do so if I didn't take in Carl.You see,Carl worked in the Florida government,and everyone hated him.They wanted to get rid of him,but in a way that wouldn't hurt him.His dream,was to work at Peterman,so they decided to give him a job here, your position.

Elaine

They can't do that!

Peterman

I am afraid they can.

Scene Ends

Setting-Lois's Apartment

Jerry

You've got a nice place here.

Lois

Thanks,I'm just going to go order a pizza,is there any specific topping you would like?

Jerry

No but thanks for asking, order what you want.

Lois

So if it weren't for you getting fired, you'd be at your comedy tour right now.

Jerry

Thanks for reminding me.

Lois

Why do you care so much, you are such a successful comedian, it's just a little comedy tour.

Jerry

That's not what's bothering me, the problem is that I got kicked off it because this amateur comedian, whom I tried to help, got on it instead of me.

Lois

Oh, I see

Jerry

Yup, so, what movie did you get?

Lois

Superman 3

Jerry

3? Wouldn't you want to see the second after just seeing the first one?

Lois

Oh I saw the second.

Jerry

But you said that you hadn't seen the superman movies.

Lois

Uh,

Jerry

You were lying?Why would you lie about that?

Lois

Umm,

(Jerry looks at the coffee table noticing mail on it saying to Mrs.Tina Ledo)

Jerry

Tina Ledo? Mrs.?

Lois

Uh, That's not mine!

Jerry

Then why is it in your apartment? Are you keeping something from me? Are you married?

Lois

Err,I am a widow and my middle name is Lois and that's what I go by.

Jerry

Why didn't you just tell me?

Lois

Who knows

Jerry

You do.

Scene Ends

Scene-Jerry's Apartment

Elaine

So she lied about her past.

Jerry

Well,she didn't lie,she just didn't tell me.

Elaine

Lying and not telling are two different things.

Jerry

I realize that.

So how's work, did you get to the bottom of the Carl case?

Elaine

Ya, it's the governments doing.

Jerry

Is this going to be a long story cause I got to go soon.

Elaine

How about I spare you the details.

Jerry

Fine with me, so you going to do anything about it?

Elaine

I don't know.

Jerry

So now what?

Elaine

I got to go,I think I just thought of something

Jerry

Well good luck with that.

Scene Ends

Setting-Steinbreners office

Steinbrener

So George,you up for some lawn bowling?

George

Lawn Bowling?

Steinbrener

Don't tell me you don't know how to lawn bowl.

George

Uh,how about we go play and you'll teach me as I go along.

Scene Ends

Setting-Monks

Lois

Jerry,I am breaking up with you.

Jerry

Oh,good cause I was just going to break up with you.

Lois

Your breaking up with me?

Jerry

Why do you care?

Lois

Why would you want to break up with me?

Jerry

Well, you seem to secretive.

Lois

That's it I'm leaving.

(Lois walks out and a lawn bowling ball hits her head)

Scene ends

Setting-Lawn

Steinbrener

George I told you underhand not over!

George

Wow that must have been some far throw,I hope I didn't hit anyone.

Scene Ends

Setting-Florida

Elaine

Thankyou for letting me stay with you Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld, it was important for me to have this meeting with the government.

Helen

No problem Elaine.

Frank

Elaine, watch out!

(Elaine gets hit with a lawn bowling ball)

Kramer

Fore!

THE END


End file.
